It’s Snowing – New Beginnings!

It’s SNOWING and I am so excited. I don’t know why snow makes me so happy, but I feel like a kid at Christmas.

I couldn’t sleep last night just wondering if it had started snowing yet. I got up about 10:30 p.m. and sat on my couch and opened the blinds so I could watch for it. I finally fell asleep. Back up early this morning on my couch with cup of hot tea and Bible and fireplace going. Disappointed it was raining, but I kept believing . . . . and at last, about 8:40 a.m. – SNOW!!!

I guess for me, snow is not only beautiful, but it is fresh and new and just kind of reminds me of new beginnings. I know it sounds… so strange, but when it snows I just feel like everything is going to be okay. I am reminded of Genesis 1:1, “In the BEGINNING, GOD……….” Of course the verse is “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth,” but it takes me awhile to get past the first 4 words. I just think the first 4 words are so awesome. When I read them, I find myself thinking about my life, my 2 grown sons, my 2 beautiful grandbabies, the pain and sorrow I experience each day because of physical pain and bad choices long ago and then I marvel at God’s mercy and grace and unconditional love for ME.

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD.  “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” Isaiah 1:18.

 

We’re not just COVERED we are CLEANSED completely!

Don’t Doubt in the Dark

Don’t doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light!

No matter how hard you try, in a room that’s completely dark, you’ll never be able to see anything.

Even if you know for sure that something is in the room, it’s impossible to see it if the room is totally dark.

You know it’s there, but you just can’t see it.

That’s what faith is like.

Even though things in your life may be dark, know HE is there.  HE has never left.

Feeling like Elijah

Why has life become such a challenge lately?  Such weariness and exhaustion.  Peace and joy are far from me.  Feeling much like the prophet Elijah.

And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” (1 Kings 19:4)

Do you feel like Elijah today?  So depressed and distraught at times that you would actually pray that God would take your life.  Maybe your prayer is not that God would take your life, but still a prayer of desperation.

We know that Elijahs’ depression came after he experienced a mountaintop experience (1 Kings 18).  I kind of think that after he experienced such an awesome spiritual high, he must have went through a period of just feeling overwhelmed and weary and then extreme depression set in. 

I don’t know about you, but I can say that much like Elijah, I am feeling physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained.  However, unlike Elijah, I have not recently experienced a mountaintop experience.  Unless you want to count just getting out of bed some mornings – - that can feel like a mountaintop experience some days.  So could this be that maybe I am being prepared for a mountaintop experience?  Is it God’s desire that I go deeper with Him?  Is God trying to take me FROM just speaking words of encouragement to others – - “you matter; you are fearfully and wonderfully made; you are significant; you are not invisible and unnecessary in this world; you can do all things through Christ Jesus; you will make it through,” etc., etc. TO receiving and believing the same truths for my own life?   Is my God teaching me to trust in Him and not allow circumstances of this life to cause me to take my eyes of HIM?

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

Elijah ran because he let down his guard and took his eyes off God.  We all know that God never told Elijah to run.  I know that God is not telling anyone of us to run either.  Run from sin – ABSOLUTELY!  But I know that it is Gods desire that in these times of weariness and exhaustion we are to run to HIM.  We absolutely cannot take our eyes off of God for a second or let our guard down and begin acting on our own.  We must trust God every step of the way. 

I know one thing for certain – it is in these times of what feels like “emptiness” that all I can do is sit quietly in HIS presence and believe that these are moments when my soul grows receptive and where prayer becomes powerful.   Even though each day seems to be a struggle lately and I truly do not understand why, I can absolutely say that God is God and He is in control.   

Father God, I thank you for your great love.  I thank you that your mercies are new every morning.  Lord, I pray that you will deepen the conviction within me that I cannot develop my relationship with YOU without taking time to commune with YOU.  Help me, strengthen me in these times of weariness.  Restore to me peace and joy.  I love you God!  In Jesus name.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me away from Thy presence…Restore to me the joy of Thy salvation.” (Psalm 51:10-12)

“O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.  So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory.  Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You.  Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your Name.” (Psalm 63:1-4) (‘lovingkindness’ literally means “merciful love”)  

 

My Jesus is more than enough

In the midst of trials and tribulations
my Jesus is more than enough
For His great love will sustain me
His mercy I seek to comprehend
I know He holds all the answers
My future secure in His hands
My Jesus is more than enough.

The Holy Spirit gave me these words on 12-13-07 at 12:15 a.m.  I can remember that I just began to sing these words and I have never forgotten the words or the melody. 

This past week has been a very difficult and painful time for me.  I had to go through a lumbar puncture on Monday and unfortunately, it did not go as smoothly as I would have liked.  I spent the remainder of Monday and Tuesday lying flat on my back to prevent leakage of the spinal fluid which can cause a spinal headache.   I was able to go to work Wednesday morning, but by 11:30 I was beginning to feel the pain of the spinal headache and therefore headed home.  I spent the remainder of the week in bed suffering with an excruciating headache.  Pain so intense that it was almost impossible to even speak. 

My neurologist scheduled for me to go to the emergency room and have a “blood patch” done which usually ends the pain immediately.  This is basically done by injecting some of your own blood into the same injection site of the lumbar puncture and it clots the area where the fluid has been leaking from.   I decided not to go and have this done.  I found it to be easier to just lay still and endure the pain. 

I was then reminded of words that I had heard a few years ago “Don’t focus to get the trial off you, but to get Christ in you.”  I had to reflect on how faithful our God is.  I am not saying that going through this has been either pleasurable or desirable, but there has been such a wonderful peace and sense of God’s presence that is hard to even explain.    There is just that sense of knowing that nothing I will ever face or have to go through will ever change who God is.  God is God!  No matter what challenges we face each day, God is still God.

I began to ponder if I truly believed that God was still God no matter what I was going through.  I determined that I did believe God was God no matter what I had to face in life , but I wondered if my life reflected that belief.  Would others be able to see Jesus in me no matter what my situation was?  I did not want to go through trials saying “why God, why me, change it, make it go away, etc.”  I wanted to be able to ask God what he wanted to reveal to me through the trial.  How can my facing this trial equip me to help someone else. 

God is God or He is not!  We must stop basing our faith on the results of our prayers.  We pray because we believe and we believe because HE IS!

“Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.” (Deut. 7:9-NIV)

Know that no matter what you are going through, or will ever go through, GOD IS GOD and He never changes.  He is our one true and constant companion.  

AND GOD SAID NO

I asked God to take away my pride. And God said “No”.

He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.

 

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said “No”.

He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

 

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said “No”.

He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn’t granted, it is earned.

 

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said “No”.

He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

 

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said “No”.

He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

 

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said “No”.

He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

 

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said “No”.

He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.

 

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said “Ah, finally you have the idea!”

Copyright © Claudia Minden Weisz (the mother of a Rett Syndrome child)

 

 

  

Jesus is our anchor…….Hold On!

For today, know that HE is enough.  Christ is all we will ever need.  No matter what trials we face or heartache we may endure, Jesus will always be right there and HE will never leave us or forsake us.  Whether we face physical, spiritual or emotional pain, Jesus is more than enough.  His grace is sufficient and we are NEVER out of reach of His mercy.  Jesus is our anchor!

My prayer today is hold on!  Don’t ever let go of the one and only faithful friend and loving Savior – Jesus Christ.  Meditate on God’s word always.  Here are just a few scriptures on God’s unfailing love.  If you have a hard time memorizing scripture, just pick one and memorize it.

• Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies (Psalm 36:5).
• How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 36:7).
• But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever (Psalm 52:8).
• But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness (Psalm 86:15).
• Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever (Psalm 136:26).
• “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
• The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3).
• The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

Words to another awesome gospel song that I find comfort in “Are you standing at a crossroad wondering which road you should take, and you’re dreading the decision and a possible mistake.  But the will of God won’t lead you where the grace of God can’t keep you.  You will never be out of His care ….. Remember that the Lord’s already there.”  Our precious Lord is “already there” because He has never left. 

 

As you can tell, I love using song lyrics and quotes to express myself.  The song lyrics below, “The Promise” are so awesome.  If you have never heard the song, please click on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGorjWimxQE to view the video and song by The Martins.  Yes, you will cry, but I can “promise” you that no matter where you are, the presence of God will cover you and any pain, hurt, doubt, fear, loneliness, etc. that you may be going through will vanish.  Let the love of God cover you.

 

The Promise (song lyrics by “The Martins”)

I never said that I would give you silver or gold
Or that you would never feel the fire or shiver in the cold

But I did say you’d never walk thru this world alone
And I did say don’t make this world your home 

I never said that fear wouldn’t find you in the night
Or that loneliness was something you’d never have to fight

But I did say I’d be right there by your side
And I did say I’ll always help you fight 

‘Cause you know I made a promise that I intend to keep
My grace will be sufficient in your time of need

My love will be the anchor that you can hold on to
This is the promise, this is the promise I’ve made to you 

I never said that friends would never turn their backs on you
Or that the world around you wouldn’t see you as a fool

But I did say like me you’ll surely be despised
And I did say My ways confound the wise 

I didn’t say you’d never taste the bitter kiss of death
Or have to walk thru chilly Jordan to enter into rest

But I did say I’d be waiting right on the other side
And I did say I’ll dry every tear you’ve cried 

‘Cause you know I made a promise that I’ve prepared a place
And someday sooner than you think you’ll see me face to face

And you’ll sing with the angels and a countless multitude
This is the promise, this is the promise I’ve made to you 

So just keep on walking don’t turn to the left or right
And in the midst of darkness let this be your light

That hell can’t separate us and you’re gonna make it thru
This is the promise, this is the promise I’ve made to you

Oh, this is the promise, this is the promise I’ve made to you

My Prayer:  Dear Lord, before I start picking at the splinters that are so easy to spot in other’s eyes, help me to have the humility to examine the plank that I don’t want to see in my own eye.  Search me Lord, see if there is any wicked way within me and reveal it.  Give me wisdom to know what to do about my own sin, a filter of grace by which to see others’ sins, and a heart restrained from rash reactions because of Your love in me.  Give me a humble spirit Lord and a kingdom heart.   In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

  

 

 

 

Teach me to Love

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”

There is a mountain of truth in the above.  Why do we seemingly base so much of our lives on finding that one perfect person?  Is it because we don’t like what we see when we look within ourselves; so we somehow believe that if we find that one perfect person, we will somehow be complete?  Or, is it that we like ourselves so much that the quest to find that one perfect person will never happen, because we have decided that it is “I” who is in fact that one perfect person?

No matter the reason, it is all sin.  Jesus Christ, the sinless son of God was, and will always be the one and only PERFECT ONE.  He was fully man and fully God.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable

to sympathize with our weaknesses,

but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are,

yet without sin. For it was indeed fitting that we should

have such a high priest, holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners,

and exalted above the heavens. He has no need, like those high priests,

to offer sacrifices daily, first for his own sins

and then for those of the people,

since he did this once for all when he offered up himself.

-Hebrews 4:15; 7:26-27

If someone were to ask “Do you love God?”  The answer would immediately and enthusiastically be YES! And, I do not doubt for a moment that you would be correct.  But truly search your heart and ask yourself “Do I truly love God?”  What does it really mean to truly love God?  What does it mean to love God with ALL my heart, ALL my soul and ALL my mind?

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. ” (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV).

I do not believe that it is possible to love your neighbor as yourself if you do not truly love God with all your heart, soul and mind.  If you truly love God with all that you are, you will be able to love the unlovable.  We have to HATE all that God hates.  God hates sin!  Period.  We have to hate sin.  Pray that God will help you to see things through His eyes.

Another quote that I read a long time ago is “You’re never going to purify the water by painting the pump.” This quote was made in reference to purification from the inside.  You can paint a water pump the most beautiful color you want and you can even paint it and shine it up every day, but unless something is done with the inside, all the beauty on the outside will do nothing to make the water pure.  We must work on purifying ourselves on the inside.

For today, see yourself through the eyes of Christ and you will begin to see others through eyes of love.

REPEAT THIS. . . . . . I AM ACCEPTED!

• As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ. (John 15:15)
• I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. (Colossians 1:13-14)
• I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:9-10)
• I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child. (Ephesians 1:3-8)

REPEAT THIS. . . . . . I AM SECURE!

• I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God. (Romans 8:31-39)
• I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me. (Philippians 1:6)
• I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1:7)
• I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me. (1 John 5:18)

REPEAT THIS. . . . . . I AM SIGNIFICANT!

• I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm. (Ephesians 2:6)
• I am God’s workmanship. (Ephesians 2:10)
• I may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:12)
• I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

I pray that we will all truly come to know who we are in Christ.  His love for you and I is so amazing.  Soak in His love today.

Wonderful song lyrics from Point of Grace and their song “The Love of Christ.”

Chorus

How long
How wide
Is the love of Christ
How deep
How high
Is the love of Christ
It would take ten thousand lifetimes
To comprehend, a love with no beginning
A love that knows no end
Chorus
More than any heart could measure or ever hold
His love could fill the oceans
‘Til they overflowed
Chorus
Higher than the mountains
Deeper than the ocean
Farther than the reach of the sky
Wider than the heavens
Longer than forever
Greater is the love of Christ
Chorus

 

Painful choices

Bad choices, wrong choices, selfish choices.  Why would today be the day that the sinful choices of my past would weigh me down with such feelings of anguish and despair?  Not that any other day would have been a better time.  But today?  It is Saturday.  Picture perfect weather of sunshine and a slight breeze and I am going to see my son and my two granddaughters.   

But today has been a painful reminder of a life long ago.  A life before Christ.  I am reminded of a quote that I read a few months ago, and find that there is great truth in it as well as comfort . . . . . .  

‘Be comforted knowing there are “treasures of darkness” and “hidden wealth” in the secret places of your pain … and be encouraged that it’s all so we will really know God and become more like His Son.’  

Indeed my heart was filled with great pain and sorrow today, but knowing that my life is no longer about me, but Christ in me, fills me with an overwhelming sense of peace.  Yes, my desire is to really know my God and to become so much like Jesus that nothing else can be seen in me except JESUS. 

The pain seems to be so much greater when your heart is broken over your children.  T.J. is my oldest son.  He will be 27 this month.  I can still see him as that little boy with blonde, curly hair and so full of laughter.  I think he must have thought it was his job in life to make people laugh because he was so funny and full of life.  Today I cry when I look at my little boy.  I see so much sadness and pain in his eyes.  The only time I see him smile is when he is looking at his little girls.  Lacie, 4 and Alyssa 17 months – the joy of his life.  The pain he feels every Sunday at 5:00 p.m. when he has to drop them off to their mom.  The words “why daddy, why” haunting him until Friday at 7:00 p.m. when he gets to pick them up again. 

Why had I made such bad choices?  Why had I been so selfish and self-centered?  Why had I walked away from God?  No answers came, so the ‘why’ turned to ‘how.’

How can God use where I have been to reach others?  How can God use my pain to heal the wounds of another?  How can God use me?  Then it hit me. . . . .  The question I kept asking was “How can God,” and the one real and true thing I know the answer to is “How can God.” 

How can God love someone as wretched as me? 

• “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) 
• “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

How can God really forgive me of all my sins? 

• “I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.” (1 John 2:12)
• “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Did you know that God’s love for you and me is exactly the same?  When I was living a sinful life full of drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity and even murder, God loved me exactly the same as He loves me now.  You see for so long I thought that God loved me more after I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  I mean I always believed that God loved me, but I guess I thought the “real” love came after salvation.  Think about it.  God’s love never changes, so that means that His love is NOT based on performance.  We cannot do anything to make God stop loving us.  God’s love never changes, but it changes who we are.  Let that set you free – - – it has set me free.  Thank you Father that through my pain and sorrow today, you have shown me that YOU love ME unconditionally. 

When I started writing tonight, I felt so much pain.  In closing, I feel so much joy and peace.   I will go to sleep knowing that I am a child of the most high God and both T.J. and Joe are in His hands.  My beautiful Lacie and Alyssa are in His hands. 

My God speaks to my heart and tells me that HE will make me so strong at the broken places of my life and I shall minister to others out of that hidden strength. 

 Thank you Father for your love, grace and mercy. 

 [Just a little note - I actually began writing this on Saturday, but it is now after midnight - hence, Sunday, which is the day this will post]

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why couldn’t I speak??

Saturday, September 12, 2009 from 2:00 to 5:00 P.M. – what is it you ask? Our church picnic and water baptism.  I had not only been looking forward to this event, but I was also in charge of planning the event, which I was happy to do.  After all, I had been the one to mention to my Pastor one Saturday morning how awesome it would be to have a church picnic and water baptism where we could baptize in a river, creek, puddle, who cares; as long as we could have a baptism outside. 

I had accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior in 1983 and was baptized in the muddy Severn River in Edgewater, Maryland.  That was such an awesome moment.  A new life in Christ.  Old things had passed away and NOW, all things would become new.  What a great deal – my sinful, destructive, filthy, rotten life for a forgiven, cleansed, eternal life in Christ Jesus.  All my sins had been forgiven the moment I ask Jesus to forgive me for my sinful life and come into my heart and be Lord of my life.  I knew at that very moment that my life had been changed.  I knew that I knew that I knew!!!  I had never felt so free and so loved in my entire life.  And not because of anything that I had done or from anything that I had accomplished, but because of what someone else had done for me and accomplished for me on a rugged old cross over 2,000 years ago.   Yes, Jesus Christ paid the price for my sins – for your sins – for the sins of all mankind.  How magnificent to know that the moment I confessed my sins and ask Jesus to come into my life, He made His home in my heart.  He lives in me.  I am filled with His Holy Spirit.  Hallelujah!!

Now, back to the picnic.  It was about 4:45 and Pastor was in the water.  There were a few other people who were baptized and then it was my turn.  I get out in the water and when ask by Pastor to say something, I couldn’t speak.  I tried.  I just looked at him and said “I can’t.”  I wanted to, but I couldn’t speak.  I was able to cry but no words would come out.  Jason, my husband, was in the water with me and he said some things.  I told Pastor that I wanted to say something.  I knew I had so much I wanted to say, but I just couldn’t speak.  I finally was able to say how I was saved in 1983 and served God for about 10 years and then backslid for awhile.  How I was baptized, but because I had fallen away for a time, I had wanted to be baptized again.  I said how much I loved Jesus.  That was all I could say.

All the way home that evening and up until writing this, all I kept asking myself is “why couldn’t I speak.”  There was so much I wanted to say.  That moment of being baptized again, I should have been so full of joy.  I should have used that as an opportunity to witness to those that were in attendance and to testify about how God had kept His hand on me, but I could only cry and look down.  Why couldn’t I speak?

I realized it was because I still had not realized that I was forgiven, I had not truly accepted God’s great love for me.  I was still full of guilt and shame.  I did not know who I was in Christ.  I am the one that is always encouraging others to know who they are in Christ.  Take their place in the kingdom of God and walk in victory.  And here I was faced with the question of why I couldn’t speak. 

I will continue this tomorrow – - hopefully.  I am really trying to be diligent in writing each day.  I will say that since that day, I haven’t had to say “why couldn’t I speak.”  Thank you Father for using every moment in my life for Your glory.  I love you!

He is Awesome!

Thank you God for all the blessings in my life. Help me as I start this new adventure of “blogging.” 

I use to write all the time.  I kept numerous devotional’s and a diary.  I stopped really writting in 2008 and I truly miss it.  I still write down my thoughts and words that I know are given to me by the Holy Spirit or words that are given to me by someone through the Holy Spirit.  

I am going to try my hand at this now as well as writting in journals that I have.  Trusting in God to give me the wisdom, strength, desire and words to once again put my thoughts in words.